Getting Back with your ex

Should you Get Back with your Ex ?



It's that time of year, the start of a new year. You may be wondering about the state of your current relationship. While some people are out partying you are trying sort out your feelings for your ex. It’s a question you’ve probably asked yourself, and maybe you’ve even asked friends or family members: Should I get back with my Ex ? Hopefully you are thinking this for the right reasons of love and not just because the sex was great. But only you can answer that question. Did you love him or her ? Did you feel like a couple, was it a relationship that you miss or you just miss being in a relationship ? In order for you to be able to answer this question for yourself, don't focus so much on the reason why you broke up, focus on more how you felt most of the time when you were with this person. Did you feel good or NOT good ? The only way to really gauge the value of the relatioship is to put your feelings down on paper and take a closer, more objective look at them.



If you’ve stayed friendly and you haven’t insulted each other, the chances of you getting back together are better than if things had gotten ugly. Hopefully it was not a blow up over something silly like snopping thru their facebook or twitter accounts. Another thing to consider was the gravity of the relationship. Were you guys talking about marriage? Love and relationships are worth putting forth the extra energy. How would you rate your relationship as a couple on the scale of 1-10? Was the passion and intimacy at high levels most of the time, or did you argue often ? Spiritual connection? Did you enjoy alot of the same thngs? How was the Sex ? Did the sex leave you fulfilled, and connected? Did you guys act and feel as a couple in public ? Were there any financial entanglements that made small matters seem so much worse? Are you buckling under pressure from a parent who does not approve of your choice? Search your heart and serach your feelings....but be sure to write them down so you can examine them in a list form. Ask yourself the right questions so you can get the right answers.



When you’ve asked your friends, "Can I get my ex back?" some of them probably told you that maybe you could. Some might have shouted "No way!" And some probably said they didn’t know. Your closest friends probably don't know a lot about couples counseling, so always seek a therapist or someone older who has life experience (not your peers).Take all the love advice you can get, but remember that not all of it is good advice. Beware of any extreme advice, like people telling you that you should just date several people or start another relationship to make your ex jealous. Jealousy could lead to even more complicated matters.



So when you are trying to decide if you want to get back with your ex, measure and weigh your options slowly and carefully like an accountant. Never act out of fear (I don't want to be alone). Try not to make act solely out of emotion, but weigh all the pros and cons. Once you make your decision, then stick with it. Respect yourself, don't allow yourself to be a booty call on somebody's blackberry or iphone. Talk and coummunicate and make it work, or walk away never to look back again.